"The Digital Home of National Television Host John Cremeans!"
"If the Doctor of Shopology stays here...you know it's got to be good!"
"I pity those that catch their flight here! If this is progress, I've just landed in the stone ages! Hehe! I'm no fool. You can't call a cesspool nirvana and make me believe it! Where's my pterodactyl!"
"Absolutely love the Chicken Salad Sandwiches!"
"Great Breakfasts Here! Awesome Service and Friendly Management Makes This a Great Choice!"
"Absolutely Awesome Pizza!"