"Their menu doesn't include dessert, beverage nor coffee. They might as well include a carrot so you can stick it up your ass. At least that's what it feels like to pay 11 euros for their menu."
"The people recommending this place are tourists who know nothing about life. Don't."
"MOTHERFUCKER. Better than real dogs."
"Wait, is there a dish called "arrechera" or I'm just a dyslexic Venezuelan?"
"Order the shawarma mixed dish. You'll praise Allah."
"Nice place. Best sushi I've had in my life, for real. Try the whale, worth it. And don't feel bad about it. A whale would kill you if it could."