"Don't get the fried sardines and tomato dish if you like fried sardines or tomato."
"DON'T GO HERE! You'll never enjoy eating anywhere else."
"Why do you even bother?"
"Front of house staff is beyond accommodating. Kitchen is mediocre at best. Owners are borderline shysters."
"DON'T POOP AT THE CAMEL."
"Don't piss off the locals or they'll shoot you."