"The service at this Mezcal's FUCKING sucks! Beyond awful! If you work here and read this you should be ashamed of your restaurant."
"Here is a tip. If you're not on wheels get the fuck out of the bike lane. Apparently everyone here is ignorant and retarded."
"3 gourmet tacos for $7, nuff said."
"In russia food eats you, but in america russians make you food."
"Try the french onion soup, delicious!"