"Abandoned in 1966 when the current bypass was built."
"Tired of waiting in the long line? Make a game out of it by trying to guess how many pieces of your mail they've lost this time!"
"I've seen banks with less security. Apparently Comcast gets a lot of really ticked off customers."
"Live in Walden? Support a local business - skip Starbucks and grab a coffee on your way out!"
"All aboard the Ironic Express!"
"The tunnel connecting the two plazas has been closed since the 1980s. Most employees won't know it exists."