"Too many screaming kids and fat chicks at the pool."
"Don't use the back massaging chair, it will do more harm then good"
"Make sure to make your own jam sandwich before you come. Apparently no one shares anymore.."
"Bring beer and laugh at the shortness of the course and quality of the greens"
"Bartenders here rock, ask to play beer pong on the pool tables!"
"Come see Erika, she livens this place up"