"Very Cracker Barrely. "
"It smells like an off brand urinal cake here, but the men's room is suspiciously missing them."
"One of the three best cups of Kenyan I've had. The other two were in Kenya. Outstanding cafe."
"They recently changed from a soft two-ply to a one-ply toilet paper. The last two-ply restroom in the bayshore mall is no more. I'm going to Mayfair from now on."
"tell them you know mister alterra. see what happens."