"Shh! Don't tell anyone. It's a secret."
"Be aware: this place can get double-, even triple-gay."
"Keep away from this hell pit. If you are already checked in here, leave at once before you are attempted felonied!"
"This hotel was the 4th highest rated hotel on trip advisor when I booked, and it still surpassed my expectations. Grab a cup of hot apple cider on the way out."