"Does not have a bathroom for dolphins."
"A breath of fresh air compared to the lazy asses at Home Depot. Make sure you ask for Bobby."
"Caution: You may fall mouth first into alcohol."
"Try out the Rouge Hazelnut Brown Nectar. Life changing."
"The habanero challenge is brutal. Buy an ice-cream sandwich and pray to whatever deity you deem fit."
"Support your local business! Have a maximator!"