"looks like chocolate but believe me - it is shit"
"careful! it's big, it's fat and it's cheeky"
"Had mermaid & chips again but I didn't like it with curry sauce (avoid)"
"if you are looking for some common trout, you can find it here"
"Using medical grade grapes to scare/knock the cat off the flower arrangement doesn't work"
"Keep the curtains drawn, there's a stalker about"