"This is the worst place to live. If I could move out today, I would."
"Bill Dean and his sexy bald head is just too distracting."
"FYI: I created this on foursquare"
"Do not leave your cupcakes in the car people! They will melt. Do not ask us if they will melt because it is obvious they will. It's common sense."
"Come in early for a good selection. Any time after one you won't find anything."