"Go to the McDonalds next to bridge for free wifi- that's how I've posted this :-)"
"Admire the Mezquita view from Room 102!"
"Visit on Saturday and see the wedding parties!"
"They have pin code for bogs, so sneak in behind someone if you don't want to buy anything"
"Choose a site lower down the hill to avoid blinding lamplights, whining dogs & revving boy-racers!"
"Ask for a menu and demand to know prices. Also watch out for massive moths."