"Try the turkey burger. It's the best in the history of turkey burgers! Perfectly moist."
"I had a turtle, and she moved faster than these people."
"The horchata is amazing! Great place to watch a Latin American soccer game!"
"French Fries were made like they used to be in the 90s! :)"
"The American express special of "spend $10 & get 5 off" is bullshit. The waiter flat out said "no!" when I tried using it."
"They confirm that they're giving you red beans, but they give you pink beans."