"The cutting table is as slow as a couple of old people fucking.. Get a ticket as soon as you come in, you'll be waiting a while."
"This place is like a giant cluster fuck. No wonder women love coming here."
"No good. No wifi, ice machine is broken, the clock radio looks like the 50s, the toilet is toddler sized, the shower has mildew in it, it looks like the room from no country for old men."
"Come on over! We'll get drunk and I'll smash you in some washers!! :)"
"The salsa always tastes different. And that's fine by me... Try the beef fajita quesadilla!"