"The self-scan checkouts at the far end have closed! Gah!"
"New! Australia Day Macarons - Vegemite & Subtle Racism"
"Know what you want before you go. Browsing is the same as theft."
"If you're feeling like prawn curry and Primo coffee, this is the one-stop take-away shop for you."
"Cream cheese bagel with a side of two eggs PLUS coffee is only $12!"
"Irony Brewery opening soon!"