"Go anywhere else. You have never seen people "work" so slowly and treat their customers so poorly. It's pathetic. For the sake of your blood pressure go anywhere else."
"Beer-Rita blended is completely indescribably gross. Tastes like watery Corona. Beer-Rita on the rocks is delicious. Trust me. Rocks = good. Blended = gross. Don't screw this up."
"Bring your mom you will get the family discount."
"It's impossible to get a drink around here unless you shamelessly show some cleavage. Dress appropriately!!"
"Bring a water bottle, wear clothes you can sweat in and past that, hard work = results!! All women, only women!"
"I always go to Robby. He has taken me lighter and darker and it's always perfect!"