"Wow. We waited far too long for an overcooked hamburger."
"Out of pizza and extraordinarily slow service. Epic fail."
"Best mac 'n cheese on the planet!"
"Service sucks so far. Been waiting 5 minutes in an empty restaurant. No hostess."
"Try anything. It'll all make you want to die and haunt the place."
"I have one word for you: GET A S'MORE LATTE RIGHT NOW!!"