"Dear Don H. If you check in to places that aren't even open anymore or places that you absolutely have never been to at all just to steal mayorships... It's a real dick move. Stop being a dick."
"I think they make their "roast beef" by shaving layers off a kickball. That's how it taste at least."
"Best hamburger in town! Try the Cheddar bacon burger."
"Talk to yourself loudly while in line."
"The karaoke actually kind of sucks on Friday night..."
"Apparently they make all the syrups here... Vanilla late was great. And get a waffle for real."