"Didn't even make it in the front door - unnecessary velvet rope, and a mandatory suggested coat check. Hi, you want your business to succeed, right?"
"You'll inevitably shame eat here."
"Great gifts, useful and fun house wares, friendly staff. Astoria needs more places like this!"
"Serving organic mother's milk and locally sourced paternal advice."
"Holy crap this is the slowest Starbucks in the history of recorded time and coffee shops."
"Don't listen to Andy's tips."