"Pharmacy is slower than molasses in January. Go to Walgreens!"
"Service is great, but wireless is spotty at best. Bring a book to keep yourself occupied. Otherwise prepare to be bumped off the Internet every 6 minutes!"
"Cindy Witte is the best massage therapist ever!! She has magic fingers! Tell her Kelli sent you!"
"You can order brown rice (instead of white or fried) with your entree!"
"The cook is amazing! Make sure to tip her well!"