"Ice cream is crack. I ordered mint chocolate chip and it began to melt into my beard but I didn't give a damn because now I smell like good ice cream."
"The girl who registers you in is very polite and does her job well. Don't be an asshole to her."
"Never go on the weekends; Wednesdays in the morning are your best bet. Also, I don't work there anymore so there's no point in going, really."
"That pot roast sandwich is balls to the wall awesome."