"The wifi here is hit or miss...Mostly miss. Great coffee but don't try to get any work done."
"If you can't decide, get the Atilanos burrito and add guac for only $0.80!"
"Welcome to Whitworth! Enjoy the best campus in the Pacific Northwest but watch your head for frisbees."
"Grab some official Starbucks coffee...right next to the cadaver lab."
"The service has been real slow every time I've here. Don't come if you're in a hurry."
"Stewart's where the party's at. Specifically 203/204 and 205/206...but generally it's goin' down."