"There is a Street Fighter II machine here with refurbished controls! I might never leave this place."
"Free pool and $3 pitchers on Sunday."
"Some stupid bitch straight up stole my beer while my back was turned. Classy, classy clientele."
"Beer and shot special, $5 always. Also, free pool on Mondays until 10pm."
"Free poker tournament on Wednesdays, 7:00pm! Points winner at the end of the month wins a Lumpy's gift card."