"If you think you're going to get to take a nap EVER, think again."
"If you're sitting with dad while he's drinking...hope you didn't have other plans because it is STORY TIME. Not always bad though."
"Get a cup of garlic sauce!"
"Don't hit stupid people jaywalking"
"Relax. Take a deep breath. Perch here for a minute or two."
"Don't tell Melinda to stop talking. Bad reaction ALWAYS."