"Fun fact: the wood for the ceiling and bar came direct from the Emerald Isle."
"Everything is great here. The veal osso bucco is especially good. Definitely be sure to get dessert."
"Write to Apple corporate and tell them they need to make this store bigger."
"The Himalaya desperately needs some oil. Avoid."
"The greens appetizer and the Tuscan Ravioli are amazing! The cute bartender will take good care of you, so tip her nicely."
"Drop a deuce on the rug and blame it on Emma. Treat yourself to a glass if wine or ice cold Bud Light while the master of the house cleans up your poo."