"There's no place to tip when using a credit card, so ask them to tack on the tip amount before they run the card."
"This place has tableside guacamole. They give you a sample of it on a chip to make sure you like how it's prepared before serving it."
"Watch out when returning cars. They threw open the hatch of our SUV before we had a chance to stop them and a laptop bag slammed on the concrete. They were willing to file a claim, though."