"The one time I check this place out I get lectured about the gospel. Hick central"
"Don't interrupt Steve when he's playing Skyrim."
"My current jackalope streak is 17 weeks in a row and I don't even work here. I'm rather proud of this."
"5 bucks for 100 pitches is where it's at. Don't have to pay to enter the park if you're just there to bat. Not bad!"
"Pro tip #1 Come here after getting super fucked up the night before. Get the tortilla soup. Leave feeling moderately better."