"£12.67 for a breakfast and cup of coffee? Don't fucking bother. I'm sure I've eaten nicer tasting dog feces after copious ammounts of falling down water"
"COOKIESSS omnomnom......They are a must"
"Been here every night this week, this is first time i've been disapointed. Bad cuts of steak tonight."
"They put fake cream on your hot chocolate, in the words of Zammo McGuire.....Just say no"
"To fit in here you have to be a firking nutter"
"Dont write omnomnom on your checkin until AFTER you've eaten. Cant say i enjoyed any of that carvery. Well, maybe the horseradish sauce. At a push."