"Pro tip: renting a nicer car is a great way to "get laid" by "hot chicks""
"MoMA? More like "Woah Ma....n, I sure do love this art.""
"This is my favorite place to come get high. Ha ha. Just kidding. Don't do drugs kids. Stay in school."
"I had a mojito. Congratulations to me."
""try the sausages" says the assholes that think they're funny but everyone hates."
"Even though there's 25 display pretzels, there were none for my mouth. For shame."