"This place is magic. The drinks are dirt cheap and the decor is spectacular. You should also use the bathroom for funsies."
"Record prices are actual prices and not jacked-up airport prices!"
"Accept no substitutes! The veal is...okay."
"Seriously, the toilet paper selection in their public restrooms is comical. It's worth a trip to the throne."
"Bring a helmet and shoulder pads. It gets rough in here."