"Make sure to include black beans in your order, for satisfying dark stools sans tarry texture."
"The weekday AM announcement dude is named "Campy" and loves to be called such. Give him a hearty "hi ho!" as you pass."
"BYO vagina. What I saw probably wouldn't tickle your pickle :/"
"On a humid day you can smell awesome mold growths. I blame not the plumbing & white fixtures, but I'd suggest you don't ask their advice on cabinetry. *SNIFFY*!!!"
"If you can smell wet poor people you're standing too close to them."
"Awesome rubber cocks at reasonable prices. Fuck the world!"