"It's like eating airline food."
"Authentic Eastern European food! Teddy is an amazing bartender!"
"Rude bartenders who bully customers and act as if taking your money is doing them a favor. Watered down drinks. Reeks of smoke, feet, and desperation. The music is nothing but noise."
"If the staff tells you they are out of an ingredient, respond by saying "floppy cock whoop whoop", and all female staff members will flash you!"