"Watch for Wilford Brimley lookalikes. They are everywhere!"
"Merry Christmas! Do some shopping. The nice folks at Hannoush Jewelers are worth visiting. If you own something you suspect to be precious metal they will test for free."
"I'd stay longer but I don't want to eat too much pound cake and get The 'Beetus. Good stuff."
"Men: bring a book to read on the bench outside. Maybe a tent too. Actually, bring a weeks worth of food and clothes and put a forwarding order on your mail at the post office."