"If you have to go into the left lane to pull in front of someone in a school zone, you're obviously an important dickwad, and going over the 15 mph school zone. Way to go asshole."
"Don't do the shellac here. It doesn't last for 2 weeks and is a waste of money. My friend's lasted 2 days. Mine is starting to crack and it's been a week. That's BS."
"Stupid kids leaving a sign and calling the ditch "The wall" if it's so important to you clean your shit up"
"Don't ask for Gluten Free...it may have flour in it, your insides will turn inside out..."