"Don't check in here, unless you know me. Otherwise, you're a poser."
"Personal residence of a brooding and active gay guy. If you check in here, you better have been invited..."
"Not what it bills itself to be. At. All."
"Patio seating first come first serve seating. Beautiful spot in nice weather."
"Fabulous. Exclusive. Fun. You wish you were here."
"Delicious Bacon Wrapped Pork Chop. Friendly service."