"The atomic flavor has a tragically unappetizing smell. It's a challenge through and through."
"Pretty sure the employees here smoke pot on the job, but they sure do make great smoothies."
"The chorizo quesadillas were amazing WHEN THEY STILL SERVED THEM HERE."
"The bathroom stalls may appear to be occupied - the doors swing shut automatically. Don't form a line because you failed to check. When you do check, do it by pushing, not by peeking. (I'm an idiot.)"
"Want a fast degree with hardly any gen ed? You'll just need a high tolerance for hilariously unqualified instructors, a knack for self-teaching, and about $100,000!"