"The person who took our order was a huge douchebag. He was blatantly rude to us and they took forever to get our order out."
"NOT a porn shop. Don't make the same mistake I did."
"I came here hoping for some help with euthanasia. No such luck."
"I came here hoping to get help with euthanasia. No suck luck."
"I came here expecting to get an owl to take to Hogwarts with me. Turns out I could only get coffee and baked goods. Still delicious, though."