"If you become mayor, they let you look at the giant top hat."
"Amazing if you love the smell of lplaster"
"Best pub lunch in stocky bar none"
"Thoroughly recommend the pastie chips and beans combo."
"Drink 10 Sneck Lifters and challenge all comers to arm wrestling. Beat everyone except the strongest man in the town."
"20 cocktail sausages in the reduced bit at 25p"