"Ivar has sweet horror tshirts"
"The dog who hangs out here likes to catch the frisbee when you toss it to him. He doesn't like to fetch it, so don't throw it far away."
"People are very 'helpful' here if you have breasts, even if they don't work here and you don't want their help!"
"Wear deodorant or I will post your picture all over the Internet to let everyone know what an inconsiderate ass you are!"
"Friendly waitstaff, but the food is meh. The mangos on my tropical salad were hard and not ripe, plantain chips on my sister's ceviche trio were solid as a rock. Our waters were not refilled either."