"No gammon, no salad. No crumble, no cookies. No fish fingers. No service. No coming back."
"Get your sandwich with added scowl."
"Weekday roadworks at present (22/04) causing long delays"
"Try the King Do Ribs :)"
"Don't get your car stuck on the mud when the tide is coming in."
"Don't buy fresh fruit and veg here. The quality is terrible."