"The owner is a merciless tyrant with a lust for torture and pain infliction!"
"The dogs, and Marcie, are noobs."
"Bible Study at the Dude Ranch! Whaddup?!"
"I hear the resident here is a giant douche. And he loves milkz way too much. Watch your milkz!"
"Pet the three legged cat and marvel at how dumb looking the dog is!"