"If you have to pee and puke at the same time, please pee in the shower and puke in the toilet."
"If you're going to take a shit in the bathroom here, do it in the back bathroom, its got a window. If you shit in the other bathroom, you'll just stink up the bar."
"there is more onions than noodles in mac n cheese"
"Cash only, and buy some Uniporn!"
"great venue for cheap awesome shows. pizza is cheap before 7. super rad bartenders."
"water turns into whiskey after 9pm"