Tim Schafer

"Swing your kid so that they can see the great view too!"

"Sit at the counter! More festive! Less waiting!"

"Get kicked off the train because it's going out of service."

"Put your phone away and read a book. Nobody will mug you for a book."

"Empty the dishwasher. You'll feel a rush of moral superiority that is no joke."

"Buy a protective case for your iPhone or iPod after you've all ready dropped and cracked it."