"Literally the slowest service ever. I could go to Colombia, get the beans, roast them, brew the espresso and steam the milk in less time than it takes to get one drink."
"The Pink Lady maki and Ginger Martini are must-haves. Also delicious: the Mellow Yellow roll."
"Bring the Chihuahua a donut. Extra points if it's still warm from the oven."
"Turn right at Cityville and drive straight past Farmville until you reach Prestaville. The people there are friendly!"
"Pharmacists here are dicks. Totally unhelpful and rude!"