"Personal trainers, designer suits, gourmet food ... Great place to visit!"
"When they ask about weapons, don't tell them, "I am a United States Marine, I *am* a weapon!""
"Home fries are overcooked, "hollandaise" on eggs Benedict tastes like Miracle Whip and lemon juice - unimpressed and best avoided."
"Ask your TSA agent to put on clean gloves before they start the grab and grope."
"The mayor gets coffee in bed here!"