"Built on an abandoned clown graveyard, the store is beautiful, but the food tastes funny."
"A finer gang of thieves, con artists, and low life scum can only be found in a bar called the Mos Eisley Cantina on a little planet known as Tantooine in a galaxy far, far away."
"Little known fact: Allen Event Center hosts one of the largest pajama parties in north Texas!"
"Now with 39% more linoleum!"
"Last known Starbucks built by clown labor."
"Be sure not to miss their Thursday evening Marco Polo league!"